Texas Edition of Windows 98

 Notice from Microsoft:
 It has come to our attention that a few copies of the
 Texas Edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally
 been shipped outside of Texas.
 If you have one of the Texas Editions you may need
 some help understanding the commands.
 The Texas Edition may be recognized by looking at the
 opening screen.
 It reads WINDERS98 with a background picture of the
 Alamo superimposed on the Texas flag. It is shipped with
 a Leann Rimes screen saver.
 Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.
 My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.
 Dialup Networking is called Good Ol Boys.
 Control Panel is known as the Dashboard.
 Hard Drive is referred to as Wheel Drive.
 Floppies are Them Little Ol' Plastic Disc Thangs.
 Other features:
  Instead of an Error Message you get a Winder
  covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
 Terminology:
 ats aww-right = OK
 you betja =  Cancel
 aw shoot = Reset
 shore = Yes
 Naaa = No
 hunt-fer it = Find
 over yonder = Go to
 back yonder = Back
 hep me out here = Help
 ternit off = Stop
 crank it up = Start
 sittins = Settings
 stuff that does stuff = Programs
 stuffs I done = Documents
 Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters
or punctuation marks.  We regret any inconvenience it may
have caused if you received a copy of the Texas Edition.
 You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.