"It's So Hot In Texas That..."
..the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
..the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
..farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

"It's So Dry In Texas That.." (pre 2016)

..the cows are giving evaporated milk.
..the trees are whistling for dogs.*The catfish have ticks and have forgotten how to swim.
..a Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."
.." Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights? ; "Texas got about two and a half inches of that."

"You Know You're In Texas When.."

..you no longer associate bridges with water.
..you can say 110 degrees without fainting.
..you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
..you can make instant sun tea.
..you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
..the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
..you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
..you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
..hot water now comes out of both taps.
..it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one is out playing
..you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
..you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
( before work. )
..you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
..you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.