A:
 AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
 power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
 travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty
 bolts last tightened 70 years ago by someone at Ford, and rounds them off.

 AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

B:

C:
  CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool
 that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end
 without the handle.

D:
  DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
 metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
 flings your coke across the room, splattering it against that freshly
 painted part you were drying.

E:
  EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward
 off a hydraulic jack handle.


  ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes
 until you die of old age.

  E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes
 and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

F:

G:

H:
  HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
 principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable
 motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more
 dismal your future becomes.


  HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays
 is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far
 from the object we are trying to hit.

  HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

  HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
 after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack
 handle firmly under the bumper.


M:
  MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well
on boxes containing seats, chrome and plastic parts.


P:
  PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

  PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as
the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

  PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another
hydraulic floor jack.

  PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

O:
  OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside a wheel hub you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

S:
  Shop Vacuum: A large noisy roll-around device used primarily for
causing the permanent disappearance of very small exquisitely expensive
parts.

  SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for
spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-do off your boot.

T: 
  TROUBLE LIGHT: The home builder's own tanning booth. Sometimes
called drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin,"
which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits
aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same
rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first
few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its
name is somewhat misleading.

  TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

  TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
strength of bolts and fuel lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

V:
  Vinyl tape: a black linear flexible adhesive product used to bind
little squares of paper towel over fresh cuts and/or abrasions
 
  VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm
of your hand.

W:
   WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars,
motorcycles, and (Vicounts), they are now used mainly for impersonating
that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

   WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint
whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you
to say, "Ouch...."