A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in
rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it
fell into a farmer's field on the other side of
a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly
farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what
he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a
duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into
retrieve it."
The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you
are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer
said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll
sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't
know how we do things in Texas. We settle small
disagreements like this with the Texas Three-Kick
Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas
three-Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three
times and then you kick me three times, and so on,
back and forth, until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed
contest and decided that he could easily take the
old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor
and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted
the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin
and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly
wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat
on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney
nearly caused him to give up.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed
to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot now
it's my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You
can have the duck."
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