FROM: Fred
Date: 020201
Subject: Real World Stuff
Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Thank you"
though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.
Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra,
some are onstage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are
there to applaud. Know who and where you are.
When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.
You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
If you tell a lie, don't believe it deceives only the other person.
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I
apologize" and "You are right".
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat
crow while it's still warm.
The best advice that I remember my mother ever gave me was,
"Go! You might meet somebody!"
If he says that you are too good for him-believe him.
I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?
At hard times I ask myself, "How do I feel? What do I want?" I use it
whenever I'm at loss for words or thoughts.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
If you move far from your family when you're young, consider choosing a
career with an airline. Your need to see your family will last a lifetime,
as will your travel benefits.
Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad
or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.
Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going
to need them to empty your bed urinal and hold your hand.
Work is good but it's not that important.
Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.
And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect,
it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
Got a "funny" to share?
Send it to Todays Funny
or call BR9-554, ask for Sum Ting Wong.
|